Month: April 2006

Good job the hens needed straw otherwise that bale I bought yesterday would have gone to waste.
Judging by how hard it is to spin fleece into yarn, I think it must be nigh impossible to spin straw into gold, and so I strongly suspect that Rumplestiltskin must have been a made-up story.

Raw fleeece on the left (from a Jacob cross – it wasn’t my dirty hands that turned the normal white wool brown, honest), carded roll next to it, then spun thread, with the finished plyed yarn, secured into a skein, on the right.
It now needs a jolly good wash as it currently smells – well, sheepy, to put it politely.
All I can say is that it’s a jolly good job that non-regular yarn is fashionable. Gosh! The words *fashionable* and *BW* don’t usually mix, now do they?
One of the Nice Ladies has offered me a whole fleece from one of her sheep, so, as soon as Mr BW has asembled my new spinning wheel (oops, I couldn’t resist – but, it will make a nice feature in the new studio), I’ll get started. My twisted yarn might just be more credible than Rumplestiltskin’s.
I shall be needing to grow a large quantity of blue dye producing plant material… Now, if I did a spell, causing every reader to grow a small patch for me, I’d have enough…

Yesterday I bought a bale of straw.
Today I am going to learn how to turn it into gold.

Mr BW returned from Wales unscathed.
With numerous energy boxes and this energy bar:

Sign below if you’re interested…
My reaction is *yuck*!

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Following on from my downshifting post the other day, I’m upping a belated comment to today’s TFTD:
You don’t actually have to physicaly downshift to enjoy work more.
You can be happy or unhappy in a highly paid job or a lowly paid job. Changing the job up or down does not come with a guarantee of happiness. I really genuinely do enjoy my job (gasp!). It can be stressful at times – but then living is stressful at times – but I genuinely enjoy a pretty good balance.
Balance is the key to everything.
Enjoy life, enjoy balance.
– Mr BW

Well, Chief Bui1ding Control Officer has just made his first visit and says I can have the stove of my desire, with a few modifications to the underfloor structure, and the addition of some concrete.
Mr BW’s foundation inspection hole has been passed as deep enough to prove that we won’t need to underpin the existing single storey part of The Coven to put on the planned second storey, and the hole can now be filled in. Which will spoil GT&WF and PVC the new baby familiars games, but will improve safety no end.
And Bui1der BW has just handed me the totally dessicated corpse of one of the loft-inhabiting super creatures that so distressed me and kept the council pest contol officer visiting for weeks sometime soon after I started BW over 3 years ago. Complete with attached fibreglass (the rest is now in the skip in the drive – it can’t be reused as it’s not modern spec, and even *I* can’t think of a way to creatively recycle that much old insulation material).
“I knew you’d want to keep it!” he smiled.
I think he has me all worked out… (the piles of displaced loft junk all over the house are a dead giveaway actually).
Anyone got any plasticraft left over from their 70s childhood?

Is it a mouse? Or a shrew?
(If I was a good and dutiful blogger, I would provide links to all of those things mentioned, but, frankly, I cba, and I’m meant to be working, but I just wanted to share… ;))

Those of you who are energy-sceptics had best skip this post 😉
Senior Witches always tell me that they cannot discern the colour of my aura (“the aura is an electromagnetic energy field that emanates from all living things. The colours and patterns within this energy field constitute a kind of blueprint of a person’s soul, a chart of the individual’s potential. Reports of the aura describes it as being a luminous egg-shaped cloud of pulsing energy that surrounds the human body, extending about six feet in all directions. It is made up of concentric bands or layers of coloured light that travel in patterns around the body.“)
I was once told that my aura was rainbow coloured. Which, given the symbolism, and my natural bent, made me laugh.
However, an internet quiz (which is actually based on a book on the subject, which seems quite interesting) now agrees that I am aura-schizophrenic:

Your aura colours are overlapped. Your most likely colours are:

Orange.

Oranges are daredevils. They are individualistic, fearless, physical, cunning, conquerors, danger-lovers and thrill-seekers. They have been known to tilt at windmills.

Indigo.

Indigos are truth-tellers. They are quiet, alert, spiritual, inquisitive, patient, determined, guiltless, stubborn and honest. They can be blunt.

Crystal.

Crystals are healers. They are private, spiritual, readers, socially awkward, rehearsed, shy, retiring, proper, misunderstood and unappreciated. They can seem fragile.

Find out what colour your aura is.

That is scarily accurate, especially when you look at the extended definitions.
What colour are you?

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppression of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
– Thomas Jefferson

Or, to be more exact, half a roof missing.
It wasn’t all meant to be coming off, but Bui1der BW and Structura1 Engineer BW have decided that Always Late Arch1tect is an idiot and they have redesigned it between them to make it better (ie give us more headroom in the shower room). And hence the whole back of the roof is now off.
Tiles all stacked neatly on the scaffold, roof battens currently on the flat roof bit – ah, no, wait – I hear a noise – as I write, being thrown into the driveway for us to chop up for next winter’s firewood (waste not, want not).
This is the view, leaning perilously, kneeling on my work desk, and hanging out of the open Inner Coven window:

And could I make a plea to the Met Office (via a certain blog reader) to give us more accurate weather forecasts for this area for the next few days, please? We’ve just had 3 heavy showers that weren’t forecast… and Bui1der BW isn’t impressed. I said I’d let the Met Office know they got it wrong. He thinks I’m joking 😉

He that respects himself is safe from others. He wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Today I am mostly looking at the pretty flowers in my garden, and trying not to get stressed by the fact that the bui1ders – Boss Man of whom has just arrived to do measuring, roof tile and floorboard removal – probably now need a crane to get in the structural supporting beams, which means closing the lane outside. Which you can’t do without Following A Procedure. Which takes several weeks.
I’ve just noticed, there’s even a scaffold leg in the top picture.

La la la la la la….

We’ve been toying with the idea of getting a new TV aerial for a while now. The existing one is probably 27 years old. With a better aerial, Mr BW has always thought, we might just be able to get Freeview. Possibly. The website still says ‘No’, but last time I got a box on ‘work or return for refund’, we had a couple of ghostly half-channels. While Freesat would give us TV and Freeview, I don’t believe in giving Evil Uncle Rupert details of everything I watch.
Yesterday, while out looking for stoves, bathrooms, flooring and tiles, we passed an independent TV shop, and picked up the required parts.
Now, most people would just get someone in, but not Mr BW. He likes climbing on the roof. A few years back he balanced on the ridge and stuffed a flexible flue and 5 bags of vermiculite down the lounge chimney for a wood burner. This time, the scaffolding that’s been up since Wednesday (took 3 blokes 4 hours, and they even managed to go round my hanging basket, and only stood on one emergent hosta) made it much easier.
The GT&WF decided that the scaffolding was an excellent adventure playground, and a great way of showing off to PVC, the Baby Kitten Familiar, who wasn’t big enough to climb the first ladder up.
I was having kittens with the two of them up on the ridge…

And, here’s the proof that GT&WF and PVC are now friends:

Playing on the bag of leafmould we had to move from the drive in preparation for the bui1ders. If they don’t finally show up tomorrow morning, there will be spells…

They’re now sort-of playing together. That is, GT&WF has stopped hissing and running away, scared, from PVC (Pointy Velcro Claws, the baby kitten) and wants to play with her (although GT&WF’s efforts are rather too boisterous), while PVC just wants to play with us.
21 hours it took. A good spell, involving a very warm day (23 degrees – possibly more, as the weather station thermometer is now in the shade of the scaffolding, so may be under-reading), some plant planting, a plastic bag, and a lot of patience, but thanks also, for the encouragement to continue, to Debster, GoodTwin and Joules.

Well, whichever wannabee Witch who did the spell to stop me posting more cute kitten pictures, it’s failed. Bad luck. It only took 34sp 6 minutes from the time I reported the problem that was stopping me posting and you commenting, to fix it (now, that‘s service for you :))
So, would you like to see my picture of Madge (80 today), or another pic of the new Dark Tabby Familiar (6 weeks and 3 days today)?
No contest is it?

Like I said before, if you’ve got ’em, flaunt ’em.
Anyway, commentator Debster will be happy (and if GT&WF doesn’t start being nice to the newcomer (how long might it take anyway?), Debster may just have to adopt one of them… :))

The GT&W Familiar is not amused though.
She was being such a hissy moo that we had to shut her in the cat box, and let the velcro-clawed Dark Tabby Familiar run around the workshop. If you look carefully in the top right corner of the smaller picture, you can see the GT&WF hissing at the poor little 44 day old new familar who arrived at The Coven a couple of hours ago.
Only child syndrome.
I’m sure they’ll sort themselves out…
And then they’ll start climbing the scaffolding. Which is more than the bui1ders are. Now apparently starting on Monday rather than tomorrow. Third delay. Only 3 weeks late…
Update, 9.15pm: Just went out to see them… GT&WF has somehow managed to escape from the cat box and was sitting up high looking scared. New small Dark Tabby Familiar was running round happily.
We gave them both a hug (hearing GT&WF purr and hiss simultaneously was amusing), gave DTF a towel-lined box bed, put GT&WF in her bed, and crossed our fingers.

1. Ginger, Tabby & White Familiar
2. Wheel arch cleaner:

3. ????????

I cannot divine how it happens that the man who knows the least is the most argumentative.
– Giovanni della Casa

I’m a bit preoccupied enjoying my last day for the next 12-14 weeks without men, scaffolding, and noise, around. No, well, that was the plan, but actually, I’m running around like a headless chicken trying to sort out loads of things.
One of the scaffolders just came round to see tomorrow’s job. He was 17, 7 stone, rough, and was eating a bag of salt and vinegar quavers (with his mouth open) while he talked to me. He decided that they could put a scaffold supporting leg in the fish pond. I decided that he couldn’t. He eyed up my largest koi and said it would make a nice dinner with chips. Not a good start. *sighs* Luckily Mr BW is having the day off tomorrow as I can’t cope with scaffolders alone. There’s something about men of that ilk that I find very, very hard to communicate with.
I was having a nice quiet swim earlier. Into my third week of swimming fast for at least 20 minutes (almost) every weekday, in a nice warm pool, my joints are creaking less, but I’m not any less tired.
I’ve finally, for the first time ever, managed to find some swimming goggles that don’t leak. Which today wasn’t a good thing, as I noticed a grossly fat woman in her 50s nonchalantly having a pee in the corner of the pool, while I was swimming down the lane at the far side. Given that there is a toilet just 10 steps from the edge of the pool (I measured it when I got out, to check), there is absolutely no excuse for that.
I stood up, looked straight at her from where I was across the pool, raised my eyebrows and shook my head very, very, slowly. I think that she looked a bit embarrassed, but maybe that was wishful thinking. Later I wished I’d said something too – there were 3 other people in the pool.
But what? What does one say to someone weeing in the corner of a swimming pool?

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
– Albert Camus

It’s empty upstairs and full, very full indeed, downstairs.
And there’s a 6’4″ naked man (that is, naked apart from a pair of Wellington boots and a Nigerian hat) in the dining area.
We are very very tired and need a long bank holiday weekend to get over the long bank holiday weekend.
Hot Cross Bun Count: 8 left. Bit dry now and no longer revivable with a quick 5 second blast in the microwave. May be hen food later.

These little bunnies were in a net inside a beautiful hand-painted mug given to me by one of the Pupils BW. Weird that of nine, 3 should be artist bunnies. It’s a sign!
Mr BW says, a sign that we should get on and finish emptying The Coven Attic…

Easter Sunday, we were walking
Easter Sunday, we were talking
Isabel, little one, take my hand
Time has come
Isabella, all is glowing
Isabella, all is knowing
And my heart, Isabella
And my head, Isabella
Frederick and Vitalie
Savior dwells inside of thee
Oh, the path leads to the sun
Brother, sister, time has come
Isabella, all is glowing
Isabella, all is knowing
Isabella, we are dying
Isabella, we are rising
I am the spring, the holy ground
The endless seed of mystery
The thorn, the veil, the face of grace
The brazen image, the thief of sleep
The ambassador of dreams, the prince of peace
I am the sword, the wound, the stain
Scorned transfigured child of Cain
I rend, I end, I return
Again I am the salt, the bitter laugh
I am the gas in a womb of light, the evening star
The ball of sight that leads that sheds the tears of Christ
Dying and drying as I rise tonight
Isabella, we are rising
Isabella, we are rising
– Patti Smith
Happy chocolate bunny chick day to you all!

Hot cross bun count: Now at 14.
The Coven Attic is nearly empty.
The rest of the Coven is nearly full with everything that is being moved out of the Coven Attic in preparation for it becoming The Coven Studio.
We are really tired and ache all over.
I can understand why people move house regularly now. It’s so they don’t get an accumulation of things. If you have a huge, walk in loft like we have, it’s just too easy to let it all build up. And then, when you have the good idea of turning the storage space into useful living space, you end up with a big, big problem.
I am unsure that I can live in this kind of a mess for the next 12-14 weeks.
Only the Inner Coven and the Workshop are usually allowed to be messy. I can’t stand clutter anywhere else, and, at present, only the bathroom and the Rest Room are tidy. As those two rooms are probably also the only ones from which the scaffolding won’t be visible, I may have to live in just them, during the hours of light.
Physical clutter causes me real mental pain. Keeping physical order helps me keep equilibrium in my head. And that’s a hard enough battle usually, without half a dozen workmen intruding into my space every day too. I think I may have to run away. Anyone want a Witchy house guest for the next 3 months? 😉
Mr BW has calculated that there will only be room in the storage cupboards, that will be built into the eaves of the new room, for around 25 boxes, so is trying to ‘encourage’ me to throw away practically everything. But, I am resisting… there are reasons for keeping ‘stuff’, even if he doesn’t understand… And I think he’s wrong about the number of boxes that will fit in. At least, I jolly well hope so…

I still can’t work out how D’Oves have babies, and pictures such as this and the one here don’t help explain it. They’ve been at it all afternoon. And not just this pair.
The Coven Attic is roughly half empty. The allocated space for all the treasures (Mr BW would say “junk”, but then he’s carried it all downstairs, and 90% of it is mine rather than his) in The Coven Lounge and Outbuildings is more than half full. We seem to have a space problem. And that’s before the space from whence it has emanated is turned into a room with only minor storage in the eaves. The paper recycling box is full (and it’s not paper collection week). But, I refuse to throw away anything that could be construed as “social history”.
It’s fascinating how things have moved on in the education world since 1982 and 1991 (two years from which I have particularly large stocks – both years I moved, so, obviously, material was thrust into boxes in haste rather than sorted, wrapped in plastic, and labelled, “loft”, to where it got relocated when I relocated, rather than reevaluated; it’s weird unwrapping boxes that haven’t seen the light of day for 24 and 15 years respectively).
It was 23 degrees celsius at 6pm. Most unusual for a Bank Holiday weekend.
And Grumpy Old Men is back tonight. Wonderful programme. Makes me realise that I am not alone 🙂
Hot cross bun count: Still at 18.

We are busy relocating the entire contents of The Coven Attic into a designated and groundsheet-enclosed half of the Coven Lounge, The Coven Garage, and various other assorted Coven Outbuildings, in preparation for The Bui1ders BW. The scaffolding is going up on Wednesday. Only 15 days late, but, it could have been worse, and, given how ill we’ve both been over the past few weeks, it’s no bad thing.
It’s weird only having a 14′ x 12′ lounge left to live in for the next 12 weeks. I know that’s probably still larger than most new houses, but it’s too small for me. I’m feeling claustrophobic.
But… many half-forgotten treasures have been uncovered.
Star finds to date include: apricot coloured plastic and elastic bobbles I wore in my hair throughout primary school, a signed photo and personally dedicated A4 black and white photo of Jilted John, my BAGA gymnastics awards from primary school, every single metro ticket and till receipt from the time as I spent in France as an au pair in 1979, a diary from a national Guide camp I went on in 1975 (that is hilarious – “I had to cut up bread for fried bread. It was mouldy. I had to cut the mould off. Mummy BW wouldn’t be happy, so I won’t tell her..”
Loads of excellent blog fodder. If only I had the time to post it…
Hot cross bun count: started at 24 yesterday. Now down to 18.

Well, Tesco Corporate have been visiting BW again today while I have been avoiding traffic jams on the M1, M11 and M25 today (how I love my sat nav :))
I guess that’s why Dear Susan was instructed to send Mr BW a further email (my bold and red):

—–Original Message—–
From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 13 April 2006 13:12
To: Mr BW
Re: vegetarianism
Dear Mr BW
I thank you for your reply, and I would like to advise that I do have some further information regarding the Greek Salad that was labelled to contain fish.
This product, did not in fact contain any fish, and it was the manufacturer’s labelling which did not omit the information saying that it did contain fish.
This was down to human error, and as soon as it was brought to our
attention, steps were taken to remove the product and the labelling amended.
As I did advise previously, if we made any errors, they would be rectified and this is the case with the Greek Salad.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

Can anyone explain to me what the bold red paragraph actually means? It seems to be written in Tesco-Speak rather than English. I think they’re saying it’s someone else’s fault? Surely someone in Tesco is involved in the design of own-brand product labels? And, even if not, surely someone in Tesco should have checked that an own-brand product’s label was satisfactory before thousands were printed?
And isn’t it wonderful to see that the buck stops anywhere but Tesco’s door? (doubly interesting, in the light of the info on manufacturers and labelling offered by Cath in the comments yesterday).
But – as Tesco admitted previously that their vegetarian products do contain fish products, because they can, and do, produce misleading labels because the “V” symbol is not regulated, I’m just wondering what they’re trying to achieve here?
I counted 14 Tesco lorries and a Tesco petrol tanker stuck in the absolutely stationary traffic on the M25 anti-clockwise carriageway between the Potters Bar junction and when I turned off up the M11.
I thought of the Tesco senior managers who must have been fretting because they were losing money as the product was being delayed getting to the shelves for the Easter weekend, and laughed.
Remember – you don’t have to shop at Tesco, but, if you do, there soon won’t be any other choice in many places.
Once Tesco have successfully closed the small-shop competition, they will have complete control. Prices will go up. Choice will go down. Goodness knows what food will contain, and, well… the future is worrying.
Boycott Tesco!

Answer: When it shops at Tesco and trusts the labels on the food.
Well, the following volley of emails between Mr BW and Tesco had me laughing all afternoon.
You’d probably need to know Mr BW to appreciate the true sarcasm in the tone of most of the remarks made, mind.
If you read the original post down the page a bit, you’ll remember that we’d reached this point yesterday:

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 10 April 2006
Subject: vegetarianism
Dear Susan
Thank you for your reply.
Whilst slightly patronising in trying to explain to me the different types of vegetarian, you are in fact completely wrong. There is only one definition of Vegetarianism and one definition of a Vegan in the eyes of the FSA.
I would have hoped that you would have been up to date with Food Standards Requirements, but as you clearly are not please allow me to patronise you, the largest food retailer in the UK, in return, and send you the link to their guidelines:
https://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/vegitermsgn.pdf
Your labelling as attached is therefore clearly in contravention of the FSA Guidelines.
If I might draw your attention to page 4, it says:
“The term vegetarian should not be applied to foods that are, or are made from or with the aid of product derived from animals which have died… including for example… fish.”
Whilst accepting that this is a relatively new update, my major concern is that you appear to have no plans to bring your labelling in line.
Tesco has a well-earned reputation for arrogance in its dealing with the public, but defying FSA guidelines must break new ground for even Tesco.
Hoping that even Tesco might think that it is not bigger than the FSA and might reconsider complying with its guidelines,
Mr BW

Mr BW is of the BW School of Communciation – if it doesn’t respond after a reasonable time, nudge it a bit harder, and then keep poking at regular intervals until it does.
So, not having had the courtesy of a reply to his email on Monday, this morning he wrote again:

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 12 April 2006
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Dear Susan
I note you are taking longer to answer my second question. Might it be
because you now appreciate Tesco are in the wrong here, but, being Tesco, you don’t want to admit it?
Mr BW

He received this reply:

—–Original Message—–
From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 12 April 2006 13:28
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Thank you for your reply.
I am sorry to learn that you were unhappy with my response to your
complaint, as there was no intention to cause you any further annoyance.
However, our labelling lists the ingredients, so that our customers can make
an informed choice before deciding to purchase.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at
customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

Now, by now Mr BW reckoned that the lady writing was dim and obviously had difficulty in identifying questions embedded in text.
So Mr BW tried another tack:

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 12 April 2006
Subject: RE: vegetarianism
Susan
Your answer bears no relationship to my question and you are doing nothing but reinforcing public perception of the arrogance of Tesco in their dealings with the public.
I am not questioning whether or not your labels list all ingredients. I am asking you why you are labelling food containing fish as vegetarian, which is in direct contravention of the FSA guidelines.
Please answer the question.
Thank you
Mr BW

And back came a reply, containing out-of-date information.
Interestingly it also confirms that Tesco don’t consider they need to comply with official guidance that is not legally enforceable. Not that we didn’t already know that (the word ‘planning’ comes to mind…).

—–Original Message—–
From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 12 April 2006 13:48
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Thank you for your reply.
From the Food Standards Agency
https://www.eatwell.gov.uk/foodlabels/labellingterms/vegetarian/
“You see a variety of vegetarian logos on food labels.
Products carrying the ‘Vegetarian Society Approved’ logo must fulfil certain requirements laid down by the Vegetarian Society.
But at present, there is no single legal definition of the terms
‘vegetarian’ or ‘vegan’ either at European or UK level.
The ‘Suitable for Vegetarians’ logo is not regulated. It is known as a
‘voluntary claim’, which means it is illegal for the labelling information to include anything that is false or likely to mislead.”
Our labelling clearly states that the product contains fish, and so is not misleading.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at
customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

Mr BW hates inaccuracy and sloppiness.

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 12 April 2006
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Dear Susan
sorry but this is an out of date comment, not a formal dated guideline:
Please read my e-mail lower down in this string of 10th April, the current
FSA guidelines (dated 6th April) were linked in this e-mail:
https://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/vegitermsgn.pdf
Please read the definitions on page 4.
They are very clear about what can be included in any food with a vegetarian label, and fish is specifically excluded.
Tesco is therefore in contravention of current FSA guidelines.
Please advise.
Mr BW

And then the penny started dropping at Tesco:

—–Original Message—–
From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 12 April 2006 14:37
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: veget arianism
Thank you for your reply.
I fully appreciate your comments. We aim to provide the best possible
service for our customers and any feedback or suggestions made are always very welcome.
The relevant department dealing with such matters has been notified and I can assure you that this will be taken on board as your views and comments are invaluable to us.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

Insert knife to really make the point:

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 12 April 2006
Subject: RE: vegetarianism
Thanks Susan.
I guess that is as close that we will get to an acknowledgment of error from Tesco.
I hope the ‘relevant department’ will not only worry about my views and opinions, but will also take note of those of the FSA
Ever in hope.
Mr BW

And here is Susan, trained not to admit the customer is right, replying (my bolding of ‘if’):

From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 12 April 2006 16:18
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Thank you for your reply.
I would like to assure you that if we have made any errors at all, they will be rectified, as you will appreciate, we do have to adhere to legislation.
I have forwarded all of our correspondence to the relevant department, but I will not be informed of any outcome I am afraid.
Thank you again for your time and consideration, and I am sorry for any inconvenience caused.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

She sounds so sad that Tesco “do have to adhere to legislation” doesn’t she?
And Mr BW’s parting shot:

—–Original Message—–
From: Mr BW
Sent: 12 April 2006 16:52
To: ‘Tesco Customer Service’
Subject: RE: vegetarianism
Hmmm
Nice to see Tesco has a joined up communication process.
Perhaps I could suggest a new slogan?
Rather than ‘Every Little helps,’ perhaps, ‘We live food: mushrooms.’
(Ed’s note: That new slogan had me stumped for a bit – but, having thunk awhile, I suspect he means that Tesco keeps everyone in the dark and feeds them shit – she won’t have understood that though :))
Good luck working for Tesco, I have a feeling you might need it.
Mr BW

Show Tesco that telling the truth on its food packets is vital.
Vote with your wallet – the only thing that they will understand – Boycott Tesco!

The Union Flag is 400 today.
I haven’t got time to write about it.

Viral marketing seems to be a buzz word at the moment.
I’m thinking that I like the term viral blogging.
Lots of different potential usages of the term…

Almost no time for blogging, sorry.
I’m busy sorting in readiness for Bui1ders BW (now starting next Wednesday), swimming (in an attempt to stop feeling so old and tired, I needed to up exercise I would enjoy, so, for the past 9 days I’ve been fast-swimming, in a lovely warm pool, every day for at leat 20 minutes – Value Tip – if you go early, you can get away with going in ‘just-out-of-bed-mode’ and save on your shower water at home – sometimes you even find ‘forgotten’ shampoo and can pinch a bit of that, so save on using your own ;)), and arting (I’m getting stressed by the thought of everything that could go wrong with Bui1ders BW, and thinking about all the things still to source, so I’m into major distraction).
I always conceptualise learning as a staged process:

Unconsciously incompetent
Consciously incompetent
Consciously competent
Unconsciously competent

I can’t remember whose model it is, and CBATG.
I start everything, without exception, at stage 2, and, with many things, never bother aiming to stage 3, unless I definitely know I can do something well. Perfectionism is a hard affliction to live with.
But, maybe I crossed the stage 3/4 line sometime recently, as far as things arty are concerned. I’m now at the stage when I’ve done a couple of bits I’m really pleased with, that I myself would buy, and that I didn’t fret about every step of the way. In fact, I even enjoyed doing them. And I don’t care whether other people like them. I’m genuinely excited about where I could go with things in future. I can’t remember the last time I felt like that about anything.
Just wait until I have somewhere proper to do them…
Ah, back to the second sentence.
Anyway, I seem to be using parts of my brain that have lain dormant for too long, recently. I guess it started when I was told, “Academics don’t do art and cookery, BW!” at school. It’s taken me 31 years to properly escape that… And, oh, it feels good.

You may remember that I mentioned the other day that Tesco products, labelled as vegetarian, contain fish?
Well, Mr BW (who eats meat, sometimes, although not at The Coven) was rather cross about this. He knows someone who is allergic to fish, and must not eat it. So, he emailed Tesco on this angle, rather than solely on the strictly vegetarian one.

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 07 April 2006
Subject: vegetarianism
Dear Sir/Madam
I understand that you are labelling products containing fish as vegetarian.
I am appalled to now be told that your V symbol actually means that the product could include fish. For example, this label:

Please explain, as there are likely to be people allergic to fish who will trust your V symbol (without necessarily looking for fish as an allergy warning; why should they, it’s a vegetarian dish?), as being an indication that there is no meat or fish in the dish, and could potentially become very ill as a result. Not to mention of course the problems you will cause vegetarians in ‘making’ them eat fish against their will (you might as well hide a piece of pork in the dish for good measure).
Do you remember the problems and publicity Gordon Ramsay had when he hid meat in a vegetarian dish? It was all over the papers for days.
Given that I have now made you aware of his potentially lethal situation, you will have no standing in court to claim ignorance of the issue when the first person falls ill from a fish allergy from eating what was labelled as vegetarian, and sues you, and be assured I am copying this e-mail to Watchdog etc to make sure that your knowledge of your dangerous (and surely illegal under trade description) practice is common knowledge.
Yours disgustedly
Mr BW

Tesco replied thus:

—–Original Message—–
From: Tesco Customer Service [mailto:customer.service@tesco.co.uk]
Sent: 08 April 2006 10:28
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: vegetarianism
Thank you for your email.
I fully appreciate your comments. We aim to provide the best possible service for our customers and any feedback or suggestions made are always very welcome.
We will show our Vegetarian symbol on products which contain fish so long as there are no animal by-products.
Below is a breakdown of the 4 different types of Vegetarianism.
Vegans avoid all animal products, including honey. In addition, they generally do not use products, which have been tested on animals.
Lacto-vegetarians eat milk and cheese but nothing that has been produced as a result of animal being slaughtered e.g. meat, fish and poultry, or by products such as gelatine, whey or rennet.
Ovo-Lacto vegetarians eat eggs as well as dairy products.
Demi-vegetarians choose to exclude red meat but may occasionally eat poultry or fish.
Tesco Vegetarian products are suitable for Vegetarians who still eat eggs and dairy products.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us at customer.service@tesco.co.uk.
Kind Regards
Susan McAndrew
Tesco Customer Service

He was truly flabbergasted (not least because the response was self-contradictory and also didn’t address the major point he raised), and applied a quick Google before responding in 2 minutes at the end of his lunchhour:

—– Original Message —–
From: Mr BW
Date: 10 April 2006
Subject: vegetarianism
Dear Susan
Thank you for your reply.
Whilst slightly patronising in trying to explain to me the different types of vegetarian, you are in fact completely wrong. There is only one definition of Vegetarianism and one definition of a Vegan in the eyes of the FSA.
I would have hoped that you would have been up to date with Food Standards Requirements, but as you clearly are not please allow me to patronise you, the largest food retailer in the UK, in return, and send you the link to their guidelines:
https://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/pdfs/vegitermsgn.pdf
Your labelling as attached is therefore clearly in contravention of the FSA Guidelines.
If I might draw your attention to page 4, it says:
“The term vegetarian should not be applied to foods that are, or are made from or with the aid of product derived from animals which have died… including for example… fish.”
Whilst accepting that this is a relatively new update, my major concern is that you appear to have no plans to bring your labelling in line.
Tesco has a well-earned reputation for arrogance in its dealing with the public, but defying FSA guidelines must break new ground for even Tesco.
Hoping that even Tesco might think that it is not bigger than the FSA and might reconsider complying with its guidelines,
Mr BW

After this, would you trust Tesco labelling on anything?
A company that believe they are above the laws on food labelling and plannning (issues on which there is irrefutable proof) just cannot be trusted.
Don’t you need to be sure that you know what’s in your food?
There is only one way of getting the message through to Tesco, a company who appear to have no morals or ethics, and whose only care appears to be profit. Vote with your wallet.
Boycott Tesco.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?
– Satchel Paige

Mr BW is disappointed that no-one organised a sweepstake in his office. I’m not, because betting is a complete waste of money, and every saved pound at the moment is a bonus. However.
To assuage his disappointment, and to have some fun on a Saturday (actually, I may have a MBWLA later – not sure, I have to check the files – but Mr BW has big plans for my time today, which do not include blogging, but do include sorting out the rainwater collection system, moving an antique plough, relocating a 10 foot high holly bush and lots of horticultural jobs), I was going to allocate a horse to each resident of The Coven. However, as the D’Oves are 50% of the inhabitants, they will probably win, and it would be hard to tell them apart, which would lead to D’Ove wars. So…
Pick a number between 1 and 40.
Put your choice in the comments.
If I’m allowed a moment before the race starts at 4.15pm, I’ll tell you what you chose.
Later I’ll tell you who’s won.
The gee gees competing are here, but my secret numbering system doesn’t follow theirs.
In fact – as it’s Saturday and there’ll be fewer visitors, you can have 2 numbers (horses) each until 2pm, then 2 more each of those left. Any remaining numbers then go to the hens. That’s the hens I don’t have anymore when the Government’s panic cull starts btw 😉
Allocations pre-race:
BW: Whispered Secret; Just in Debt
Mr BW: Royal Au Clair; Nil Desperandum
GT&WF: Forest Gunner; Ebony Light
GoodTwin: Silver Birch; Iris Royal
dave: Rince Ri; Juveigneur
Beth: Amberleigh House; Garvivonnian
Harriet: Le Roi Miguel; Tyneandthyneagain
Clair: Colnel Rayburn; Shotgun Willy
Chris: Hedgehunter; Therealbandit
timothy: Numbersixvalverde
Ham: Heros Collonges; Risk Assessor
witch of oz: Baron Windrush; Direct Access
ew: Cornish Rebel; Haut de Gamme
LaP: Ross Comm; Iznogoud
Numbers still up for grabs are in the comments.
Beeb’s top tips for winners are here.

Well done tangerinecath!
Details 2 posts down.

What, where, why, how?
Clue: It has something to do with a Familiar.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
– Henry Van Dyke

Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.
– Bertrand Russell

Mr BW laughs at me.
When I have a plate of one sort of dinner (eg pasta in a sauce) I eat it from one side of the plate to the other, neatly cleaning up as I go. So, one finished dinner = one clean plate that doesn’t need rinsing before being placed in the dishwasher.
When I have a mixed dinner (of the traditional ‘something + potatoes + veg’ sort) I eat a bit of one thing, then a bit of something else, then a bit of something else, in amounts roughly proportional to the total amount of each on the plate. Each forkful can contain only one foodstuff. A forkful of the thing I like best is usually left until the end.
If I have a side-helping of sauce or chutney, I like it on the side, not spread all over everything. I can then dip as I choose.
Mr BW, on the other hand, eats a whole plate from all over the top and then leaves a messy plate, and always puts a bit of everything in a mixed dinner on each forkful. And he has to have any side-sauce splopped all over everything. I think this is unnatural.
I’m sure there’s one of those internet quiz-things in this concept… “Your personality from your eating style!” type thing.
But, as I have neither the time nor the inclination to set one up, tell me instead,
How do you eat yours?

Civilization can only revive when there shall come into being in a number of individuals a new tone of mind independent of the one prevalent among the crowd and in opposition to it, a tone of mind which will gradually win influence over the collective one, and in the end determine its character. It is only an ethical movement which can rescue us from the slough of barbarism, and the ethical comes into existence only in individuals.
– Albert Schweitzer

Unaltered picture (other than size):

Amazingly it passed overhead, and didn’t rain until several hours later.
I knew it was an omen… and now I’ve discovered why.
Over the weekend my local water company decided to introduce a hosepipe ban, from today.
I only know because I just heard it on BBC Breakfast. No pre-warning in the media (as was given by other companies), no personal notification, no nothing. Tell me how I’m going to water my hens (we need to fill their 45 litre water dispenser, right down the other end of The Coven Grounds, at least twice a week in summer) given that I currently have pain right across my upper back and shoulders and certainly can’t carry that many cans of water that far?
And yet… neighbours with swimming pools and spas can still legally keep them topped up.
I see they’ve even set up an online form so that one can report people using water improperly.
Why haven’t the water companies planned properly?
They don’t seem to have hosepipe bans in Mediterranean countries?
And the media are now speculating that the summer is going to be as hot as 1976. Well, that will be a summer of fun…
I’ve long wanted a properly pumped greywater saving system, but, just like solar panels, those commercially available are ridiculously expensive.
I’ll have to get Mr BW busy on devising a diversion pipe so that reusuable water doesn’t just go into the septic tank. I’ve never quite worked out whether dishwasher and washing machine water, or shower water containing soap and shampoo, is OK for watering, or not?

The day is coming when a single carrot, freshly observed, will set off a revolution.
– Paul Cezanne

Usually he prefers chocolate Freddos, but this one was quite cute.
Of the 6 photos I took, only two had Freddo in them. Freddo was just too hoppy. He nearly jumped under the fridge. He did jump into a cupboard door. He’s now back in the damp grass under the hawthorn hedge (which is just on the point of bursting from bud into leaf) a few feet from the pond.
Strange, because yesterday on the local BBC radio station they were talking about frogs on the lunchtime gardening programme, and I was bemoaning the fact that I hadn’t seen one near the formal pond for several years.
Still haven’t found the bottom of the foundations in that hole. It’s well over a metre deep now, but, Bui1ding 1nspector he say we must dig until we find the bottom of the concrete…

Oh for some energy…
Who’s nicked our energy?
I haven’t had any for over two weeks.
Can we have it back now, please?
Enough is enough.
All we can say is thank goodness the bui1ders aren’t starting on Monday as was planned. Sometimes 2-week delays work out for the best.
Anyway, here’s a nice little quiz to keep you going.
I’ll tell you what I got later.
When I’ve found my energy.